Mr. Bernie.com : Cleanup on Aisle Seven


 

Section: Cleanup on Aisle Seven            Authors: Daniel, Cheeseypieman          Date: May 02, 2006

 

  • Red Riding Hood

 

Tim - Cheeseypieman
Herman - Daniel

   

 

Tim: I might not be attracted to women anymore. Ever.

Herman: Gross...

Tim: No, I mean, creepy women who dress up like fairy tale creatures.

Herman: Oh okay. I think we've all been through that phase.

Tim: Dude.. No we haven't.. I was kidding around... Shut up. I don't want you to go into detail.

Herman: It's like Little Red Riding Hood couldn't find her pants so she borrowed Mrs. Clause's skirt.

Tim: Look at her shoes. She's going to tap them together and fly away.

Herman: Why grandma, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!

Tim: I need a brain.

Herman: Clearly. And she needs a large dark room to go stand in. A very dark room.

Tim: Really, is she supposed to look hott?

Herman: I think she's like... 80's movies hot, where the persons not actually hot, but you know they're supposed to be because they zoom in while slow peaceful music plays.

Tim: ... And that is why I don't watch 80's movies.

Herman: If it were physically possible for me to destroy the known universe just with a thought, this picture would be the reason to do it.

Tim: What's she carrying?

Herman: I think she's smuggling some tiny Mexicans over the border, using her sex appeal and undeniable charm to woo the guards.

Tim: That's impossible.

Herman: Because the Mexicans wouldn't fit into a basket?

Tim: No, because the thought of her having any sex appeal causes the sun to explode in a supernova, destroying the Earth, which would make her mission pointless anyway.

Herman: In closing, I would like to point out that if you highlight the image, it looks extremely frightening. And if you don't highlight the image, it STILL looks extremely frightening.
 


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