Mr. Bernie.com : Interviews

 

Section: Interviews            Author: Ironman       Date: May 02, 2006

 

  • A Great Day for Freedom

Today, we have with us in the studio, one of the greatest leaders out country has ever seen...that's right, Mr.. George Washington! he'll be interviewed by our own king George V...George, take it away!

King George V: Thanks Ironman...odd name. Anyway, George, you led the revolt of the American colonies against England, what was that like for you?

George Washington: Well, er, sir, it was a bitter struggle, and we fought for what we believed in and-wait, wait, wait, i can't do this! Why the [delicious mangos] would you be interviewing me?

KGV: Well George, that was quite rude...I thought we could put our differences aside for a little chat about how you totally and completely are sorry for the terrible wrong you did.

GW: WHAT? YOU [spotted weasel]!! you were a tyrannical, dictating, cruel, unjust, [baboon], and I cannot tell a lie!

KGV: WELL SIR! I won't be spoken of in such a manner, IF, YOU, PLEASE!

[this little bit here replaces a rather long scene of violence and profanity. when we resume the interview, King George V is being carried away, and Mr. Washington is perspiring slightly]

Ironman: well, I think I can take it from here, Mr. Washington. I don't know what our executives were thinking when they put George in with you!

[flashes over to executives office]
Executive 1:[watching replay] hehehe, look at his face!
hey, john, you were right! this is hilariou-terrible, dreadful, awful, disgusting, get that camera out of here!, bad, not good, a disgrace

[flashes back]
IM: anyway, what was the key point in your strategy to succeed?

GW: well, I was focused on-

IM: [cuts in] wait a second, are your teeth wooden?! whoa, Nellie! some people worry about plaque, do you get termites? and I thought you cut down a cherry tree! what if you hit yourself in the face with an axe?

GW: what? no! the dentures! why is it always the dentures! WHYYYY?!?!

[George Washington in angry rage and tirade destroying things in background...rather loudly as well]

IM: [shouting] and that concludes our interview for today, next week, Martin Luther! interviewed by Pope- wait a second...I think I'll handle that one too...anyway, thank you, and good night!

[little theme music]

 


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